If you’ve ever attended or heard a nikah being performed, then often we hear the Alim making this beautiful dua “Oh Allah make the love between them,like the love between Nabi (SAW) and Khadija (RA).”
If that dua is accepted? Then surely that marriage will be a love story for the ages…just as Once upon a time in Makkah…
There was a blessed man named Muhammad (SAW) who was given the title as Al-Ameen because of his total inner integrity and akhlaaq.There was also someone else in Makkah who was titled just as superbly because of her strength of character, Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid (RA). She was known as Taahira-the Pure one.
As the Quran says…the pure for the pure. The best matches are where values and goals are similar for the hearts are more likely to be in tune.
Khadijah (RA) the graceful lady of Makkah was widowed twice yet was often proposed to because of her famed character, wealth and intelligence. She turned down all the proposals. She was looking for someone to send with her caravan on a business trip to Syria. It was something to worry about as she needed someone not only astute in business but who could be trusted with her huge amount of stock. It was a risk but it paid off. When her caravan returned to Makkah with a profit exceeding any before..she was pleasantly surprised and asked her servant, whom she sent with him, about him and his conduct. The servant amazed her by his report: this young man was the kindest, gentlest man he had ever met. Never did he treat the servant harshly, as many others do. Yet, there was more: as they travelled in the heat of the desert, the servant noticed that a cloud had followed them the entire time, shading them from the blazing sun. The businesswoman was quite impressed with her new employee.
Nafisa was also a partner in this business with Khadija (RA). She observed that the beloved (SAW) would immediately exit the room if there was a possibility of being alone with her. Impressed with his hayaa and conduct she asked Khadija (RA) if she would not consider such a man. And she also enquired from Muhammad (SAW) “Why are you not married, yet?” “For lack of means,” he answered.
“What if I could offer you a wife of nobility, beauty, and wealth? Would you be interested?” she told him.
He replied in the affirmative, but when she mentioned Khadija ,Nabi (SAW) was concerned as whether she would be interested in a man who was not rich and who had turned down many others.
“Don’t you worry,” Nafisa replied, “I’ll take care of it.”
Nabi (SAW) was young 25, he could have married someone without children and young in age but he married Khadija who was 40. He recognised her worth and she recognised his. Her young uncle also arranged the nikah between them and some narrations say Abu Talib performed the nikah and helped Nabi (SAW) pay the mahr.
He (SAW) loved her so deeply, and she loved him as deeply. They were married for 25 years, and she bore him seven children : 3 sons and 4 daughters. All of the sons died in young age. Khadijah (RA) was a source of immense love, strength, and comfort for the Prophet Muhammad, and he leaned heavily on this love and support on the most important night of his life.
While he was meditating in cave of Hira, the Angel Jibreel (AS) came to the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and revealed to him the first verses of the Quran and declared to him that he was to be a Prophet. The experience terrified the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), and he ran home, into Khadijah’s (RA) arms crying, “Cover me! Cover me!” She was startled by his terror, and after soothing and comforting him for a while, the Prophet was able to calm down and relate to her his experience.
Khadijah (RA) put all his fears to rest:
“Do not worry,” she said, “for by Him who has dominion over Khadijah’s soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress.”
She then took him to her cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal – a scholar well-versed in the Judeo-Christian scripture – and he confirmed to the Prophet (SAW) that his experience was Divine and he was to be the Last Prophet.
After his nubuwat began, and the opposition of his people became harsh and brutal, Khadijah (RA) was always there to support the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), sacrificing all of her wealth to support the cause of Islam. When the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and his family was banished to the hills outside of Makkah, she went there with him, and the three years of hardship and deprivation eventually led to her death. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) mourned her deeply, and even after her death, the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) would send food and support to Khadijah’s friends and relatives, out of love for his first wife.
Once, years after Khadijah (RA) died, he came across a necklace that she once wore. When he saw it, he remembered her and began to cry and mourn. His love for her never died, so much so, that his later wife Ayesha once felt jealous of her. Once she asked the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) if Khadijah (RA) had been the only woman worthy of his love.
The Prophet replied: “She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand.”
Much has been made and said about Prophet Muhammad’s multiple marriages. There are many who blasphemously smear the Prophet, citing his multiple marriages. This is absolute propaganda. As a response to those who malign the Prophet, if the Prophet were anything of the sort, he would have taken advantage of his youth to do such a thing. But he did not! At a time when it was a common custom to have multiple wives, the Prophet did not marry anyone else while he was with Khadijah (RA).
Only between the age of fifty and his death at sixty-two did Prophet Mohammed take other wives. Most of these wives were widows, whom the Prophet married to care after them, or they were they were the daughters of prominent Arab chieftains, so that the Prophet could form a cohesive Muslim society out of a fiercely tribalistic (and barbaric) Arab culture. The smears against the Prophet fall flat on their faces once the light of truth shines brightly upon them.
In a song about the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and Khadjiah (RA) “We look for stories of love in places dark and cold. When we have a guiding light for the whole world to behold.”
Many of what we call “love stories” today are nothing more than stories of lust and desire, physical attraction disguised as love. Yet, I can find no love story more powerful, more spiritually uplifting, more awe inspiring as that of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and Khadijah (RA).
Then This is true love… to have the unflinching support and trust in a marriage, to know you have that one person in your corner when the whole world seems to be against you and more than that, when the bond is blessed by Allah and when the objective is Allah and a higher purpose,hand in hand to Jannah, even if there are thorns beneath one’s feet, the hand holding yours gently tugs you forward…someone who you can expose your fears to wishing to be “covered” Zammilooni…and you know,will do so with such comfort…that all things seem possible thereafter.
We will wrap up with the last moments of Khadija (RA). The beloved (SAW) was out giving dawah in the hostile streets of Makkah and someone comes to call him home. Quickly come, Khadijah is about to depart this world…Nabi Muhammad (SAW) rushes home… takes Khadija (RA) close to him (SAW) and asks her if there is anything he can do for her? She asks to be buried in his sawb as her kafan so perhaps Allah will forgive her as she will meet HIM in the clothes of HIS nabi. Nabi (SAW) cries and tells her that if he could have buried her in his skin, he would have done so.